DELAYED REACTION
The recent stay in Keita’s family home in Segou, becoming ‘friendly’with his first wife and playing with his children seemed to inaugurate a new era, when perhaps there would be, finally, peaceful relations with Keita’s family. I had been accepted as his second wife; I could now come and stay with him whenever I wanted; Mai, who used to send me SMS messages telling me she would put a killing spell on me if I ever put my foot in ‘her’ home in Segou was now smiling at me and pouring me my morning coffee in that very Segou home. But two weeks later, sitting alone in Djenné, I am having a delayed reaction to the situation.
The last family crisis was due to the idea that Mai was going to accompany Keita on his return to settle down in Djenné. This prospect was chilling enough to propel me to Europe to seek comfort next to my mother while I contemplated whether I would be able to stomach sharing Keita with Mai in Djenné. I went back fortified and resigned to that situation.
But what has happened is in fact much worse! I no longer have to deal with the scenario I feared; I no longer have Mai arriving in Djenné to live with Keita. Keita himself is no longer going to live here, but he has installed himself next to Mai in Segou! He has had another six months leave of absence from the Djenné laboratory. He doesn’t understand why I am making a fuss; “ it is only six months Sophie! It will pass quickly”. But I know that due to his terminal illness it is quite unlikely that he will work again. When the six months is up, he will get another six months leave of absence. I cannot say that to him, because it is too hard. But in reality it means that our life together in Djenné is over. These months of relative good health that he is now enjoying will not last. I wanted to be with him now. The dream that I had of our living together here, even under the shadow of his illness, is gone. It has taken me two weeks for this to sink in and now I am having a crisis again,it is too hard, I don’t know what to do…I am leaving for Segou tomorrow morning for a couple of days with Keita in a hotel- I am not sure I can stomach playing happy families with Mai just at the moment…